Hindu Marriage- Secrets behind Traditions..

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Secrets of Hindu marriage traditions

Hindu traditions are ancient and eternal too.  But we the Indians fail to recognize our rich traditions while the foreigners are trying to learn about our traditions. Unless somebody else tells about our rich traditional treasure, we don’t even believe in it.

Marriage is not a celebration of a ceremony.  Marriage is not all about exchange of rings or garlands.  It’s all about a process of promising each other for leading a conjugal life.  We never try to find the meaning of mantras chant by Purohits during the marriage process.  These days, we just care for photos and videos and hardly pay any attention to the mantras, chant by purohits, since we feel it as the headache of purohit.

The Sanskrit word Vivah originated from three root sounds vi + vah + ghai which means “a very special dedication”. 

Iyam Sita Mama Sutha, Sahadharmachari thapa                        Pratheechcha Chainam Bhadram Thae Pannim Grihneeshwa Pa¯nina

According to Valmiki Ramayana – Maharaja Janaka tells Sri Rama while introducing his daughter Sita to Rama; that she is Sita his daughter, dedicating her to him and requests him to accept his daughter as his wife (better half).

 A Hindu marriage joins two individuals for life, so that they can pursue dharma(duty), artha (possessions), kama (physical desires), and moksha (ultimate spiritual release) together. Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially aVedic yajna (a fire-sacrifice), It has a deep origin in the ancient ceremony of cementing the bonds of two families together.

The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, and by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is deemed complete unless seven encirclements have been made around Sacred Fire, by the bride and the groom together.

The love begins with the marriage for Indians, the love ends with the marriage for others as said by a poet.

The marriage procedures, their sanctity, their aim, the respectability they carry etc. can not be seen in any traditions in the world except in the holy land India as said by Madam Annie Besant.

The need of the marriage

Wife and husband are the two wheels of the life chariot.  No one is superior to each other.  Once they are married, they are not just two individuals, they are couple.  Modern age life style brought personal egos and complexes into the lives.  As long as there were no external influences, our traditions cherished. 

According to Hindu mythology everybody carries three debts right from his birth.  They are 1) Rishi Runam, 2) Deva Runam and 3) Pithrunam. 

Rishi Runam : Person has to learn Vedas (the sacred texts) means the knowledge which one has to acquire .  To clear this owe, one has to pass on the knowledge he acquired from his gurus to his next generations. 

Deva Runam : We are indebted to Panchabhutas; the Sun for giving us the light, the Agni for giving us the fire, the Vayu for wind, the Varun for giving us water through rains, the Earth for giving us food we need.  We need to clear this owe, by performing yajnas.

Pithrunam : We are indebted to our beloved parents who given us the opportunity to come to this world by giving us the birth.  We have the responsibility of continuing their vamsa (generation).  To clear this owe one has to get married and continue the generations.

The sanctity of marriage is being lost.  The culture is polluted by the adopted cultures. 

The society tries to follow the iconic figures.  For most of the common folk, cinema heroes and heroines are the iconic figures.  These iconic figures have the responsibility of remaining as the role models to the society.  Ironically, they are not able to shoulder such responsibilities. Male and female living together without any bond/marriage is one such adopted culture. One can’t totally deny the prevalence of such tendencies in our society earlier. Even if they are, they can be considered as sporadic.  But when an iconic figure resorts to such acts, it definitely has its impact on the society. 

The courts too becoming parties in polluting our cultures with the recent pronouncements legitimizing the practice of living together, marriage between homos/lesbians etc.  There are hundreds and thousands of cases piled in different courts desperately looking for their turn to get justice, the courts are becoming very passionate these days to pronounce judgements on silly issues of this kind ignoring the cases which deserve their full attention.

The process of marriage largely packed with vedic mantras (chanted by purohits on behalf of bride and groom) is more of promises and faiths reposed on each other in the holy presence of Agni (fire).

Let us see the process of Hindu marriage in brief:

Snathakam (Convocation) : Traditionally for the generations long,  when the male child graduates, he decides to stay back in Kasi (also known as Varanasi-which considered as the abode of the almighty) to take up brahmacharya (the sainthood). During the sainthood he won’t take care of his hair and grows beard also. 

If he seeks sainthood, literally there is no chance of generation next.  As such, the elders welcome the boy to family life.   

To mark the occasion, the grown hair and beard neatly cut and shaved and performs bath with hot water.  This is what we call “Convocation”. This is the first step in the process of the marriage. 

Kasi Yatra : The father of bride symbolically weans him away from the pursuits of brahmacaryam, and requests him to enter family life (grihastasramam) by marrying his daughter. The bride’s brother convinces the groom that there is life beyond education and by marrying his sister.

Sankalpam: This is nothing but thought of doing something.  While we offer prayer to god, we have to reveal our full identity in order to register our prayer. In this we reveal every minute details like the name of the land, time like name of the yuga, name of Manwantram, name of the year, name of the month, name of the day, name of Thithi, from which place the prayer being offered etc., details will be given along with the details of the performer of the pooja/prayer.  Any pooja or celebrations will commence with Ganesh pooja for successful completion of such programme without any obstacle.

Ankurarpanam : The women, specifically the bride, sprinkle 9 different kinds of grains (Nava Dhanyalu) in earthen pots filled with wet mud, such that the grains sprout into green shoots in time. This is symbolic of the germination process of the human life for which the marriage itself is conducted. The soil used in the earthen pots is obtained from ant-hills due to its exceptional fertility characteristics.

Gowri Pooja : During this ritual the bride offers her prayers to invoke Goddess Gowri Devi, seek her blessings. Goddess Gowri Devi is the icon of an ideal wife. The Goddess’ own marriage is the symbol of ever-lasting love. Ardhanareeshwaram is the concept of the perfect emotional, mental and physical union between ‘Gowri’ and her divine husband ‘Lord Siva’. By invoking the Goddess’ blessings, the bride prays for similar strength and a long, happy, married life with her husband.

Kanyadanam : Groom will be considered as personification of Vishnu and pooja performed to him as is performed to the almighty.  This is performed by the father of the bride.  The following slokas are chanted.

Kanyam Kanaka Sampannam kanakabharanairyutham,              Dashtami Vishnave Thubhyam Brahmaloka Jigeeshiya.

Vishwambhara Sarvabhuta, Sakshinya Ssarvadevatha, Kanyamimam vradasyami, Pithrunam Dharanayavai.

Kanyam Sarvalankritham Sadhvim Suseelaya Sudheemathe Vrayatho ham prayachchami Dharmakamardha Siddhaye.

Dharmardha Kameshu Thwayesha, Nathi Charatavya, —- Nathi Charami

The father of the bride offers his daughter  who is bedecked in gold to the groom considering him as embodiment of Vishnu, the almighty with a belief that he and his past seven generations is blessed to abode in Brama Loka. The father of the bride also tells groom that the decorated bride, offered to the groom so that he can get children through her and do all his prescribed religious duties.

This is the ceremony when the bride’s parents place their daughter’s hands into those of the eligible groom and seek his promise of taking care of her life long. In return the parents promise that they are offering a devoted, pure, understanding, healthy maid as the bride. This happens from under the curtain, while the curtain is still up blocking the view.

Sumuhurtham  (Jeelakarra(cumin seeds)-bellam(jaggery)  dharana)

At the sumuhurtam, precise auspicious moment, with the cloth veil still upheld, the bride and the groom place and hold a paste made of cumin seeds and Jaggery, over each other’s heads (on the crown of the head where the opening of Sushumna nadi through which Kundalini enters) The cloth veil is then removed, unveiling the “new’ life in holy matrimony. This is the first time the bride and groom look at each other. 

The mantra chanted at this moment is

Dhruvante Raja Varuno Dhruvam Devo Brihspathi

Dhruvantha Indraschaangischa Rashtram Dhrayatham Dhruvam.

Abhrathrughneem Varunapathighneem Brihaspathe

Indra Puthrighneem Lakshyam Thamasyai savithassuva

Why the cumin seeds and jaggery paste : Positive Electric charge emanates when cumin seeds and jaggery are combined and a paste made of it, as is happened when the glass rod rubbed with silk cloth (In the case of glass rod, electrons are loosely bounded compared to silk cloth and hence it loses electrons &get positive charge and it gets the ability to attract the nearby particles).  In the crown of the head, a subtle or esoteric aperture will be there.  When this paste is placed on the top of this esoteric aperture which remains closed, gets opened and the positive energy enters through this hole, it travels through Sahasrara Chakra reaches the Ajna Chakra and energizes it(centre of spiritual energy- placed between the two eyebrows otherwise called Bhrumadhya or Bhrukuti).    The bride and groom when looks at each others Bhrukuti (when the veil removed/put down,) their brain wave lengths meet.  When the wave lengths of two persons coincide, they think alike and there is no chance of contradictions.  This gives them the pleasurable married life.

Yoktra Dharana (Tying of rope made of a kind of grass)

Here, the groom tie a rope made of Dharbha (a kind of grass) around the waist of the bride.  Whenever we get ready to do a hard job we tie a cloth around our waist, which gives us extra strength duly protecting the spine. Here the groom prepares the bride to take up the new responsibilities in their marital life with ease.   He does this by reciting the following prayer.

Oh fire God; please give a stable and composed mind to this maid, who is going to join me and give her strength to take the extra responsibilities of the family. 

Mangalasuta Dharana (Tying of three knots)

Mangalya means that which gives good things and Dharanam means “wearing”. The bride has to wear two mangalyas one given by her father and another by the groom’s father. This is one of the most important events of a hindu marriage. The groom ties the mangalasutram, a sacred necklace with the mangalyam (two gold pendants) around the bride’s neck. The sacred necklace symbolizes commitment, safety and security offered to the bride by the groom as he asks her to share in a long and happy married life with him. The groom secures the necklace by tying three knots. Each knot symbolizes each aspect of the body– Sthula Sharira – Gross or Physical body, Sukshma Sharira – Subtle or Pranic body, Karana Sharira – Causal body.  It also stands for the three aspects of commitment, manasa, vachaa, karmana, believing it, saying it and executing it. While groom ties the knots, the high priest chants the

Mangalya tantunanena mama jeevana hetunaa:

kanthe badhnami Subhage saa jeeva saradam satam

Talambralu

This is a fun event. Bride and Groom put Talambralu (Akshatalu) on each other. The bride and the groom shower one another with pearls & talambralu (rice mixed with saffron & turmeric). This denotes the couple’s desire for happiness, enjoyment and contentment. Initially they take turns to shower, as it progresses it gets more entertaining when they begin to compete with each other.

Homam (Holy fire)

The holy fire, a great protection against evil, is believed to be a messenger and mediator between God and human. This fire acts as an eternal witness to marriage.  The bride and groom pledge and declare to all those present that they have accepted one another voluntarily. Holding each other’s hands, the couple takes seven steps, symbolic of the seven marital vows, around the sacred fire. 

1.     Together, we will acquire energy to share responsibilities of our married life.

2.     Together,we will fill our hearts  with strenght and courage to accmplish all the needs of our life.

3.     Together,we will prosper and share our worldly goods and will work for prosperity of our family.

4.     Together, we will chesrish each other in happiness and in sorrow.

5.     Together,we will raise dtromg and virtuous children.

6.     Together, we will fill our heartswith great joy, peace , happiness and spiritual values.

7.     Together, we will remain lifelong patners in the matrimony.

Nagavalli

During Nagavalli, a silk cloth cradle was made and a piece of sandalwood, a ripe mango/banana and turmeric was placed in it to pray for an off spring as healthy as the ripe mango, as pure as the turmeric and as self fragrant as the sandalwood.

This is followed by a fun filled event where the bride and groom fight over who will collect the gold and silver rings dropped in a narrow mouthed vessel.

Sannikallu (Grindstone)

Holding the bride’s left foot toe, the bridegroom then helps her tread on a grindstone called sannikallu kept on the side of the fire. The manthras say: “Mount up this stone. Let thy mind be rock-firm, unperturbed, by the trials and tribulations of life” and when it is finished, the groom adorns the bride’s toes with mettelu, silver rings.

At this time the priest shows the couple the Arundhati star. Arundhati, the wife of vasistha maharshi (the great saint), is exemplified as an ideal wife, the embodiment of chastity. By seeking her blessings, the bride expresses her devotion toward family life.

Pani Grihanam (Vedic)

Literally this means “holding of hands. Because this is the first most important Vedic ritual, scholars believe that this should be done during the auspicious time. Normally the bride folds fingers her right hand fingers into a conical form upwards and the groom holds it in his hand folded downwards by surrounding all her fingers.

The following prayers are recited by the groom:

Hey maid, I am holding your hand so that you will have several good children and live happily with me till ripe old age. Hey Goddess Lakshmi, you are blessed with all the luck, riches and food and so we who have held our hands today, hope to get riches and pleasures by your blessings. I announce this loudly in front of all so that you will definitely bless me. Hey Maid, Let Vayu (god of wind) who has the capacity to travel in all directions, who keeps a gold coin in his hand to give to those who pray him and who is the friend of fire God (Agni) who has the capacity to purify everything as well as the capacity to make raw food eatable, enter your mind and make you love me for every minute of our future lives.

Laja homamlaja Homam is a secondary post-wedding ceremony in which the priest lights a fire to which the newly married couple offer oblations of puffed rice or popped grains (Laja). This shall comprise the bride’s own offering to the sacrificial fire. He gives her a handful of parched rice grains which she hands to bridegroom who on her behalf, feeds it into the fire. Through this food offering, the bride seeks a long life for her husband, and propagation of the family. Participation of the bride’s family members indicates the continuance of links between the two families, even after marriage. The couple circle around the fire, three times, and the feeding of the fire with parched rice, is repeated thrice.

Removal of the Dharbha string tied earlier around the bride’s waist

 

The groom recites the following prayers and then unties the dharbha string he has tied earlier:

i. I free from the rope tied by Lord Parameshwara who ties this rope of Varuna for all the good-minded beings, I give you the position of pleasure with me to you in the world of Brahma.

ii. I free you form the string of Varuna tied by the Lord Parameshwara who gives blessings to his devotees. You can live with me in Brahma loka where the blessed go and be with me without the fear of the rope of Varuna.

 

 

I try to present the Hindu marriage tradition and processes in brief.  I might have omitted certain processes because of certain constraints. In those golden (old) days of our forefathers, the marriages used to perform for 5 days giving detailed importance to each of the process.  Today, we don’t have the resources and time because we have our own confinements, in our brisk lives to perform for so long time.  But there is no reason in making mockery of the traditions.  It is our duty to uphold the sanctity of our traditions.  Let us try to know the importance of every process of marriage tradition.  Demand your priest to narrate the secrets of the tradition while performing the marriage.  It is our duty to know.  Let us not kill our rich traditions.

Dharmo Rakshati, Rakshita ha

 

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Vedic meaning of Marriages..

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Marriage is one among the 16 “samskaras” of the life as viewed by the vedic scriptures. So the elaborate rituals and the procedures that mark the occasion of the marriage if needed to be understood, should be preceded by the understanding of the concept of the life in the Vedic philosophy. The whole process of the life is viewed as the continuous progress form one form of intelligent manifestation to the other form of intelligent manifestation. The whole of the cosmos is viewed as the eternal flow of the consciousness of the ultimate., spiralling in different forms, continuously trying to upgrade it self to the higher and higher levels of the wisdom. Human life is also viewed as the same and thought to be progressing to the intelligent forms from that of the ignorant. ( tamasoma jyothirgamayaha). The purpose of the marriage is viewed as that of aiding the creation of the higher and higher intelligent species in the homo sapiens for achieving the realization of the supreme. This thought was viewed by many westerners and the western educated persons as the stupidity of the Hindus barring the individual freedom of the soul to enjoy free sex and free life. But the recent experiments conducted by the Genetic scientists confirmed that the whole range of the emotions leading to the love like and to the interest of the sex are controlled by a chemical secretion called oxycitine, and the whole objective of this chemical is to continue the process of the progeny. The whole of the individual freedom and other behavior exhibited by the species is in confirmation to the control of the chemical named above for the progeny. This has once again confirmed the wisdom of the ancient Sages who said that the marriage is for the progeny. Now the whole of the span of the human life is divided in Hinduism to achieve all the objectives of the soul to lead a perfect satisfied life to achieve higher levels of the evolution. The life is divided in to different ashrams like Brahmacharya, Grihastya, Vanaprasthya, and Sanyasa, each having a cycle of 21 years. There are different karmas to be performed at each of the ashram and they totalled to 16 karmas. Vivaha is one such karma to be performed at the end of the Brahmacharya ashram. Brahmacharya Ashram includes the Balya Koumara and Youvana avasthas of the Human life. Once the Balya Avastha is over the individual is send to the Gurukula for the education and he will return to the parents after the education at the age of 21 years. Till then he will study the concerned field, along with the moral ethical studies related to physical, psychological, social, religious, and spiritual levels of the upgradation of the soul. After the completion of the studies the teacher will perform the snataka vratha and graduates the student and asks him to join the society for the discharge of the three debts., namely \beginenumerate emDEVA RUNA: The debt of the gods, or the personification of the natural forces. The nature is the gift of the natural forces and the stage where the evolution continues. So the preservation of this nature for the future evolutions and generations is the primary responsibility of the individual and this is the debt that each carry on his head if he is benefiting from the society. emRISHI RUNA: The great sages who understood the whole of the process of the cosmic evolution and the involution prescribed the guide lines and the modes of life for the collective living, by means of the sashthras. It is the following of these principles of living, traditions, customs, which are highly scientific in nature man can allow the peaceful coexistence., the performance of this is the Rishi Runa. emPITRU RUNA: This is the debt of our forefathers. This means that we have to perform the life of the Grihastha Ashram to create the progeny and be supportive for the other life systems on this planet. This also warrants us to be in conformity with the social norms as dictated by the sages for the progress of the society. \endenumerate and the performance of the purusharthas- Dharma Artha Kama and Moksha. It is at this juncture that the Vidyarthi can decide to enter or not to enter in to the marriage life. He can just opt for the Sanyasa ashram skipping the Grihastha and the Vanaprastha. Exactly this is the starting point of the rituals of the marriage. The bride’s father or his brother or the relatives will go and receive the Vidyarthi and bring him to their house. There They will convince him that the life of the Sanyasa is the later part of the life and will keep him satisfied with the elaborate food arrangements and other pleasantries which will keep the mind of the Vidyarthi off the Sanyasa. Then the parents offer their eligible daughter for the pani grahana to pursue him to perform the three debts. The whole of the marriage mantras are to be recited by either groom or by the parents of the bride. It is unfortunate that now a proxy recites the whole of the mantras and we simply nod the head. There are two different recitations in the marriage. One that is the conversation between the Groom and the parents of the bride offering him their daughter and reminding him of the responsibility towards the society, and second the Mantras Proper recited by Groom on the act of Panigrahana, Saptapadi, and Mangalasuthra Dharana. These are the Mantras principally recited for the Gods Agni, Indra, Soma, and Saraswathi. The Vedic concept of the cosmos is based on the evolution of the manifestation by cosmic will called EIGNE, with the aid of the cosmic mind INDIA to achieve the immortal truth and the consciousness called SOMA, with the aid of the continuous upgradation of the consciousness called SARASWATHI. The bride groom recites the passages which mean I …………. to perform the Purushartha of the human life in this form am taking or accepting ……..as my wife. She is already offered to the cosmic mind and cosmic will and to the eternal truth. (meaning this marriage is only to the continuation of the evolution.) I will not tress pass her in the performance of Dharma – all such acts that aid the evolution, Artha-all acts that allows to create utilities of life,( money earning is one such act that creates the utilities of the life, and the artha is not merely money or paper currency) and Kama- all such desires that come across in the life of us.( the Kama in the purview of the Sages is not only sex but the whole range of the desires.) Dharma ca arthe ca kame ca nathi charami. Here the MOKSHA is deliberately omitted by the sages. The reason is the intention of the salvation from the bonds of the life is dependent on the past karma of the soul. Either husband or wife depending on the past karma can achieve the salvation at their own pace. In case of Meera Bai it is the wife who achieved the salvation and in case of Ramanuja or Tukaram it is the Husband who achieved the salvation first. Now lets consider the elaborate process of the marriage according to the Veda, and its scientific significance. Though there may be variations in the sequence of the performance of the different parts and though they are called by different names in the respective colloquials, the Vedic Marriage consists of

01. NANDI- getting started

02. NISCHITARTHA- confirming the alliance

03. ANKURARPANA-creation of the alliance by lighting the yagna fire

04. LAJA HOMA- yagna

05. SNATHAKAM-graduation ceremony

06. UPANAYANAM-thread marriage

07. KASI YATHRA- the indecisive journey of the groom to kasi for the sanyasa and bringing him back to the house by the parents of the bride for the marriage.

08. KANYA DANAM- offering of the daughter for the marriage.

09. PANI GRAHANAM, SAPTHA PADHI, MANGALASUTHRA DHARANA, OR VEEKSHANAM – the seeing of each other, touching of each other, and walking together, and tying the knot of the marriage.

10. TALAMBRALU-other performances- acquaintance of each other.

11. ARUNDHATHI DARSHANAM-showing of the arundhathi star

12. GRIHAPRAVESAM- taking the bride to the in-laws house

13. APPAGINTHALU-handing over the daughter to the groom

14. DHRUVA DARSHANA

15. SOBHANAMU-nuptials

16. GARBHADANAM-the act of creation of the foetus.

Now lets see each of these acts in detail. One important point to be noted is that in the Vedic Age the school going is both for the boy and the girl. And the Upanayana is to be performed for both of them. At the time of the marriage the women starts wearing the ornaments and the man continues to wear the sacred thread. The thread marriage which is confined to only few groups of persons now, used to be in vogue for all at ancient times as the process of Sandhya Vandana is more to do with the Psychological and the Mental Personalities of the Individual. The points like why women wear ornaments and keep bindi are beyond the purview of this discourse. So when both complete the Education comprehensive education for the development of the individual and the society the parents used to find the match by comparing the Horoscopes of the probable matches and used to confirm the alliance based on the Gana Matching. Gana or Group signifies a particular set of mental traits, and for any marriage at least 24 ganas should match i.e., should of the same count for the boy and girl. Of course this science of Astrology too was highly misused and it is now commanding the lowest esteem among the moderners. Among the 16 process discussed above, 1 to 7 are to be performed at different ages and only Kasi Yatra is performed as a prologue to the marriage. But all these are performed just before the marriage due to the changing values in our societies. 8. The actual Kanyadana is the offering of the bride to the groom to perform his Duties towards the society by following the path of the Dharma. 9. From then the Veekshana is the right time for the bride and the groom to see each other. Then the Pani Grahana is the taking the hand of the bride or the process of the first physical contact between the bride and the groom starts. The Sapthapadi or the walking of seven steps around the Agni signifies that we go together in all the seven planes of consciousness in performing the dharma. The seven planes of the Consciousness are signified by the 7 Vyahrithis of the Gayathri Mantra. The Mangala suthra Dharana is the tying of the thread containing the marks of the Vishnu or Shiva in the neck of the bride by the groom. There is a dispute over the point that which is the proof of the performance of the marriage- veekshana, panigrahana,sapthapadi,or mangala suthra dharana or the time of keeping the bindi in the fore head. Various Pundits explain in different ways.But all these practices depending on the regional variations may be performed or may not performed. All form part of the Vedic Marriage Rites so the argument is unnecessary.

10. In many South Indian marriages this act is a must. The rice mixed with the turmeric is poured over the heads of groom and bride by bride and groom. After this there will be certain ceremonies of name calling singing and certain other things and all these are basically aimed at the bringing the bride and the groom nearer in psychological and mental paths.

11. Arundhathi Darshanam is the showing of the Saptha Rishi Mandala and the small star Arundhathi underneath the star of Vashistha.The significance is to remind the pair about their cosmic responsibilities they have to perform in the coming walk of life.These seven sages and their families are the originators of the Vedic Lore of the Hindus. In memoriam of these great sages we named the seven stars in the Great Bear constellation after their names. It is the Darshan of these Great Sages will remind the couple the heritage they have to carry and the Debt of the sages to be performed.

12. Grihapravesam is the taking of the bride and the groom to the house of the groom.

13. Appaginthalu or the handing over of the bride to the parents of the groom by stating that “I have nurtured this child till this age and am handing over to you for the progeny and prosperity of your family. Consider her as your daughter and be the guide and philosopher for her till she lives with you. The Mangala Vaidyalu or the instruments that are blown are to create the serene atmosphere among the people who gathered there. As these are the ragas of the great composers they produce the sonorous and serene effect on the listeners. The Mangala Vaidyalu will be over at this juncture.

15. Sobhanamu is the Nuptials arranged by the parents of the bride in their residence first and in the residence of the groom next. This is the starting of the enjoyment of the joy of the sex as learned in the Gurukula by reading the Kamashasthra and implementing it in a socially acceptable way for the joy and for the bliss and for the progeny of the race.

16. Gharbhadanamu is the act of sex for the progeny. This is set on the day that is neutral from the cosmic influences like the moons gravity and the suns gravity or other disturbances to create the foetus for the Jiva to enter in to the Womb of the mother to take the birth to perform his cycle of karma and to make the parents to fulfil the cycle of the karma. …The dress pattern on all the Vedic Marriages is in conformity with the modern day scientific non infection dressing. …The decoration with mango leaves or the performance of the homa is in a way more advanced systems of the pollution control at a group level. …The wearing of the ornaments at the ceremony of the marriage is in conformity with the Advanced Magnetic Resonance Preventive Medicine of the Present day Medical world. …The details of the food is the medicine prepared to lead the happy sexual life and is based on the Ayur Veda and is practiced in the west too. This is the wisdom as thought by our great teacher Sri Sathya Sai Bhagavathpada and is dedicated to the lotus feet of all Sages who found the Dharma and this science of the marriage.

 

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FACTORS that add to your MARITAL SUCCESS…

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Most couples enter into marriage expecting to succeed. They look at the divorce statistics and believe those figures won’t apply to them. And yet, somewhere between 40 and 50 percent of those marrying today will become part of the statistics.

 

Why do marriages fail? What contributes to success in marriage? For couples embarking on marriage, and for those already married, there are several important factors shown by research to make a difference.

 

Even before the marriage begins, several factors influence a couple’s chances for success. Some are under the couple’s control; others are not.

 

1. Parent’s Marriage: If a couple’s parents were happily married, the couple is more likely to be happily married and less likely to divorce. Of course, many individuals whose parents divorced are able to establish happy marriages, but the odds favor those with happily married parents.

 

2. Childhood: An individual who had a happy, “normal” childhood is more likely to be successful in marriage.

 

3. Length of Acquaintance: Generally, the longer the acquaintance, the more likely the marriage will be successful. Those who have known each other over one year have better odds than those with acquaintanceship less than a year.

 

4. Age: In general, those who are older when married have more stable marriages. For example, those who marry at 20 years or older have marriages that last twice as long as those who marry under age 20.

 

5. Parental Approval: Parental approval is related to marriage success for two reasons: 1) approving parents are more supportive, and 2) disapproving parents may be seeing real problems that will create difficulties for the couple.

 

6. Reasons for Marriage: Marriages begun because of genuine understanding and caring have better success than those started for the “wrong reasons,” such as getting away from home, rebellion, or wanting to be “grown up.”

 

Once a couple is married, additional factors tend to influence their likelihood of marital success.

 

1. Attitudes: A democratic attitude, where both seek to cooperate and compromise is most functional.

 

2. In-laws: Especially if couples live close to parents, getting along with in-laws is important.

 

3. Common Interests: Couples with shared interests are more likely to participate in activities together and develop greater understanding and empathy for each other.

 

4. Do Opposites Attract? In general, the more similar a couple’s background in terms of education, religion, nationality, and social status, the better.

 

5. Children: Children strengthen an already strong marriage, but may only “hold together” a poor one.

 

6. Communication: Happily married couples tend to: (a) talk to each other more often, (b) are more sensitive to each other’s feelings, and (c) use non-verbal communication more effectively.

 

7. Roles: Similar expectations of work roles, housework roles, and spouse roles are one of the most important factors in marriage. If both spouses are traditional, that works wonderfully – as it does if both are more contemporary. The greatest conflicts occur when wives are more contemporary than husbands in what they consider the “right” roles for husbands and wives.

 

8. Personality: Obviously, the personality of the individuals involved is one of the most crucial factors. Traits such as emotional stability, self-control, affection, responsibility, favorable self-perception, and optimism are correlated with good marriage adjustment.

 

9. Religious Participation: Religiosity and marital success are related, regardless of denomination, as has been demonstrated consistently in studies over many years.

 

 

There are many factors related to background, upbringing, or circumstances that tend to be in a couple’s favor for having a successful marriage. Many couples will not have all of these factors in their favor and will still have successful marriages. Some with the odds in their favor will fail, nevertheless. Part of the difference lies in the extent to which couples take care of their marriage. Every marriage needs thought and effort to improve.

 

 

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