Bhartiyan Shadian…

Marriages are deemed almost necessary in the Indian society. Arranging a marriage is the responsibility of Indian parents and other relatives of both bride and groom.
Indian Marriage alliances entail some redistribution of wealth as well as building and restructuring social realignments, and, of course, result in the biological reproduction of families. In India there is no greater event in a family than a wedding. In arranging and conducting of marriages, the complex permutations of Indian social systems best display themselves. Some parents begin marriage arrangements on the birth of a child, but most wait until later.
Essentially, India is divided into two large regions with regard to Hindu kinship and marriage practices, the north and the south. Additionally, various ethnic and tribal groups of the central, mountainous north, and eastern regions follow a variety of other practices.
Re-Marriages in India. Rules for the remarriage of widows differ from one group to another. Generally, lower-ranking groups allow widow remarriage, particularly if the woman is relatively young, but the highest-ranking castes discourage or forbid such remarriage. The most strict adherents to the nonremarriage of widows are Brahmans. Almost all groups allow widowers to remarry. Many groups encourage a widower to marry his deceased wife’s younger sister (but never her older sister).
Finding the perfect partner for one’s child can be a difficult task. People use their social networks to locate potential brides and grooms of appropriate social and economic status. Increasingly, urban dwellers use classified matrimonial advertisements in newspapers & searching online matrimonial sites. The advertisements usually announce religion, caste, and educational qualifications, stress female beauty and male (and in the contemporary era, sometimes female) earning capacity, and may hint at dowry size.

Some of the dowries demanded are quite oppressive, amounting to several years’ salary in cash as well as items such as motorcycles, air conditioners, and fancy cars. Among some lower-status groups, large dowries are currently replacing traditional bride-price payments. The dowry is becoming an increasingly onerous burden for the bride’s family. India anti dowry laws exist but are largely ignored, and a bride’s treatment in her marital home is often affected by the value of her dowry. Increasingly frequent are horrible incidents, particularly in urban areas, where a groom’s family makes excessive demands on the bride’s family–even after marriage–and when the demands are not met, murder the bride, typically by setting her clothes on fire in a cooking “accident.” The groom is then free to remarry and collect another sumptuous dowry. The male and female in-laws implicated in these murders have seldom been punished. Dowry deaths resulting from marriages have been the subject of numerous media reports in India and other countries and have mobilized feminist groups to action. Some analysts have related the growth of this phenomenon to the growth of consumerism in Indian society.
After marriage arrangements are completed, a rich panoply of wedding rituals begins. Each religious group, region, and caste has a slightly different set of rites. Generally, all Indian marriages involve as many kin and associates of the bride and groom as possible. The bride’s family usually hosts most of the ceremonies and pays for all the arrangements for large numbers of guests for several days, including accommodation, feasting, decorations, and gifts for the groom’s party. These arrangements are often extremely elaborate and expensive and are intended to enhance the status of the bride’s family. The groom’s party usually hires a band and brings fine gifts for the bride, such as jewelry and clothing, but these are typically far outweighed in value by the presents received from the bride’s side. After the Indian bride and groom are united in sacred rites attended by colorful ceremony, the new bride may be carried away to her in-laws’ home, or, if she is very young, she may remain with her parents until they deem her old enough to depart. A prepubescent bride usually stays in her natal home until puberty, after which a separate consummation ceremony is held to mark her departure for her conjugal home and married life.

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Hindu Marriage- Secrets behind Traditions..

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Secrets of Hindu marriage traditions

Hindu traditions are ancient and eternal too.  But we the Indians fail to recognize our rich traditions while the foreigners are trying to learn about our traditions. Unless somebody else tells about our rich traditional treasure, we don’t even believe in it.

Marriage is not a celebration of a ceremony.  Marriage is not all about exchange of rings or garlands.  It’s all about a process of promising each other for leading a conjugal life.  We never try to find the meaning of mantras chant by Purohits during the marriage process.  These days, we just care for photos and videos and hardly pay any attention to the mantras, chant by purohits, since we feel it as the headache of purohit.

The Sanskrit word Vivah originated from three root sounds vi + vah + ghai which means “a very special dedication”. 

Iyam Sita Mama Sutha, Sahadharmachari thapa                        Pratheechcha Chainam Bhadram Thae Pannim Grihneeshwa Pa¯nina

According to Valmiki Ramayana – Maharaja Janaka tells Sri Rama while introducing his daughter Sita to Rama; that she is Sita his daughter, dedicating her to him and requests him to accept his daughter as his wife (better half).

 A Hindu marriage joins two individuals for life, so that they can pursue dharma(duty), artha (possessions), kama (physical desires), and moksha (ultimate spiritual release) together. Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially aVedic yajna (a fire-sacrifice), It has a deep origin in the ancient ceremony of cementing the bonds of two families together.

The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, and by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is deemed complete unless seven encirclements have been made around Sacred Fire, by the bride and the groom together.

The love begins with the marriage for Indians, the love ends with the marriage for others as said by a poet.

The marriage procedures, their sanctity, their aim, the respectability they carry etc. can not be seen in any traditions in the world except in the holy land India as said by Madam Annie Besant.

The need of the marriage

Wife and husband are the two wheels of the life chariot.  No one is superior to each other.  Once they are married, they are not just two individuals, they are couple.  Modern age life style brought personal egos and complexes into the lives.  As long as there were no external influences, our traditions cherished. 

According to Hindu mythology everybody carries three debts right from his birth.  They are 1) Rishi Runam, 2) Deva Runam and 3) Pithrunam. 

Rishi Runam : Person has to learn Vedas (the sacred texts) means the knowledge which one has to acquire .  To clear this owe, one has to pass on the knowledge he acquired from his gurus to his next generations. 

Deva Runam : We are indebted to Panchabhutas; the Sun for giving us the light, the Agni for giving us the fire, the Vayu for wind, the Varun for giving us water through rains, the Earth for giving us food we need.  We need to clear this owe, by performing yajnas.

Pithrunam : We are indebted to our beloved parents who given us the opportunity to come to this world by giving us the birth.  We have the responsibility of continuing their vamsa (generation).  To clear this owe one has to get married and continue the generations.

The sanctity of marriage is being lost.  The culture is polluted by the adopted cultures. 

The society tries to follow the iconic figures.  For most of the common folk, cinema heroes and heroines are the iconic figures.  These iconic figures have the responsibility of remaining as the role models to the society.  Ironically, they are not able to shoulder such responsibilities. Male and female living together without any bond/marriage is one such adopted culture. One can’t totally deny the prevalence of such tendencies in our society earlier. Even if they are, they can be considered as sporadic.  But when an iconic figure resorts to such acts, it definitely has its impact on the society. 

The courts too becoming parties in polluting our cultures with the recent pronouncements legitimizing the practice of living together, marriage between homos/lesbians etc.  There are hundreds and thousands of cases piled in different courts desperately looking for their turn to get justice, the courts are becoming very passionate these days to pronounce judgements on silly issues of this kind ignoring the cases which deserve their full attention.

The process of marriage largely packed with vedic mantras (chanted by purohits on behalf of bride and groom) is more of promises and faiths reposed on each other in the holy presence of Agni (fire).

Let us see the process of Hindu marriage in brief:

Snathakam (Convocation) : Traditionally for the generations long,  when the male child graduates, he decides to stay back in Kasi (also known as Varanasi-which considered as the abode of the almighty) to take up brahmacharya (the sainthood). During the sainthood he won’t take care of his hair and grows beard also. 

If he seeks sainthood, literally there is no chance of generation next.  As such, the elders welcome the boy to family life.   

To mark the occasion, the grown hair and beard neatly cut and shaved and performs bath with hot water.  This is what we call “Convocation”. This is the first step in the process of the marriage. 

Kasi Yatra : The father of bride symbolically weans him away from the pursuits of brahmacaryam, and requests him to enter family life (grihastasramam) by marrying his daughter. The bride’s brother convinces the groom that there is life beyond education and by marrying his sister.

Sankalpam: This is nothing but thought of doing something.  While we offer prayer to god, we have to reveal our full identity in order to register our prayer. In this we reveal every minute details like the name of the land, time like name of the yuga, name of Manwantram, name of the year, name of the month, name of the day, name of Thithi, from which place the prayer being offered etc., details will be given along with the details of the performer of the pooja/prayer.  Any pooja or celebrations will commence with Ganesh pooja for successful completion of such programme without any obstacle.

Ankurarpanam : The women, specifically the bride, sprinkle 9 different kinds of grains (Nava Dhanyalu) in earthen pots filled with wet mud, such that the grains sprout into green shoots in time. This is symbolic of the germination process of the human life for which the marriage itself is conducted. The soil used in the earthen pots is obtained from ant-hills due to its exceptional fertility characteristics.

Gowri Pooja : During this ritual the bride offers her prayers to invoke Goddess Gowri Devi, seek her blessings. Goddess Gowri Devi is the icon of an ideal wife. The Goddess’ own marriage is the symbol of ever-lasting love. Ardhanareeshwaram is the concept of the perfect emotional, mental and physical union between ‘Gowri’ and her divine husband ‘Lord Siva’. By invoking the Goddess’ blessings, the bride prays for similar strength and a long, happy, married life with her husband.

Kanyadanam : Groom will be considered as personification of Vishnu and pooja performed to him as is performed to the almighty.  This is performed by the father of the bride.  The following slokas are chanted.

Kanyam Kanaka Sampannam kanakabharanairyutham,              Dashtami Vishnave Thubhyam Brahmaloka Jigeeshiya.

Vishwambhara Sarvabhuta, Sakshinya Ssarvadevatha, Kanyamimam vradasyami, Pithrunam Dharanayavai.

Kanyam Sarvalankritham Sadhvim Suseelaya Sudheemathe Vrayatho ham prayachchami Dharmakamardha Siddhaye.

Dharmardha Kameshu Thwayesha, Nathi Charatavya, —- Nathi Charami

The father of the bride offers his daughter  who is bedecked in gold to the groom considering him as embodiment of Vishnu, the almighty with a belief that he and his past seven generations is blessed to abode in Brama Loka. The father of the bride also tells groom that the decorated bride, offered to the groom so that he can get children through her and do all his prescribed religious duties.

This is the ceremony when the bride’s parents place their daughter’s hands into those of the eligible groom and seek his promise of taking care of her life long. In return the parents promise that they are offering a devoted, pure, understanding, healthy maid as the bride. This happens from under the curtain, while the curtain is still up blocking the view.

Sumuhurtham  (Jeelakarra(cumin seeds)-bellam(jaggery)  dharana)

At the sumuhurtam, precise auspicious moment, with the cloth veil still upheld, the bride and the groom place and hold a paste made of cumin seeds and Jaggery, over each other’s heads (on the crown of the head where the opening of Sushumna nadi through which Kundalini enters) The cloth veil is then removed, unveiling the “new’ life in holy matrimony. This is the first time the bride and groom look at each other. 

The mantra chanted at this moment is

Dhruvante Raja Varuno Dhruvam Devo Brihspathi

Dhruvantha Indraschaangischa Rashtram Dhrayatham Dhruvam.

Abhrathrughneem Varunapathighneem Brihaspathe

Indra Puthrighneem Lakshyam Thamasyai savithassuva

Why the cumin seeds and jaggery paste : Positive Electric charge emanates when cumin seeds and jaggery are combined and a paste made of it, as is happened when the glass rod rubbed with silk cloth (In the case of glass rod, electrons are loosely bounded compared to silk cloth and hence it loses electrons &get positive charge and it gets the ability to attract the nearby particles).  In the crown of the head, a subtle or esoteric aperture will be there.  When this paste is placed on the top of this esoteric aperture which remains closed, gets opened and the positive energy enters through this hole, it travels through Sahasrara Chakra reaches the Ajna Chakra and energizes it(centre of spiritual energy- placed between the two eyebrows otherwise called Bhrumadhya or Bhrukuti).    The bride and groom when looks at each others Bhrukuti (when the veil removed/put down,) their brain wave lengths meet.  When the wave lengths of two persons coincide, they think alike and there is no chance of contradictions.  This gives them the pleasurable married life.

Yoktra Dharana (Tying of rope made of a kind of grass)

Here, the groom tie a rope made of Dharbha (a kind of grass) around the waist of the bride.  Whenever we get ready to do a hard job we tie a cloth around our waist, which gives us extra strength duly protecting the spine. Here the groom prepares the bride to take up the new responsibilities in their marital life with ease.   He does this by reciting the following prayer.

Oh fire God; please give a stable and composed mind to this maid, who is going to join me and give her strength to take the extra responsibilities of the family. 

Mangalasuta Dharana (Tying of three knots)

Mangalya means that which gives good things and Dharanam means “wearing”. The bride has to wear two mangalyas one given by her father and another by the groom’s father. This is one of the most important events of a hindu marriage. The groom ties the mangalasutram, a sacred necklace with the mangalyam (two gold pendants) around the bride’s neck. The sacred necklace symbolizes commitment, safety and security offered to the bride by the groom as he asks her to share in a long and happy married life with him. The groom secures the necklace by tying three knots. Each knot symbolizes each aspect of the body– Sthula Sharira – Gross or Physical body, Sukshma Sharira – Subtle or Pranic body, Karana Sharira – Causal body.  It also stands for the three aspects of commitment, manasa, vachaa, karmana, believing it, saying it and executing it. While groom ties the knots, the high priest chants the

Mangalya tantunanena mama jeevana hetunaa:

kanthe badhnami Subhage saa jeeva saradam satam

Talambralu

This is a fun event. Bride and Groom put Talambralu (Akshatalu) on each other. The bride and the groom shower one another with pearls & talambralu (rice mixed with saffron & turmeric). This denotes the couple’s desire for happiness, enjoyment and contentment. Initially they take turns to shower, as it progresses it gets more entertaining when they begin to compete with each other.

Homam (Holy fire)

The holy fire, a great protection against evil, is believed to be a messenger and mediator between God and human. This fire acts as an eternal witness to marriage.  The bride and groom pledge and declare to all those present that they have accepted one another voluntarily. Holding each other’s hands, the couple takes seven steps, symbolic of the seven marital vows, around the sacred fire. 

1.     Together, we will acquire energy to share responsibilities of our married life.

2.     Together,we will fill our hearts  with strenght and courage to accmplish all the needs of our life.

3.     Together,we will prosper and share our worldly goods and will work for prosperity of our family.

4.     Together, we will chesrish each other in happiness and in sorrow.

5.     Together,we will raise dtromg and virtuous children.

6.     Together, we will fill our heartswith great joy, peace , happiness and spiritual values.

7.     Together, we will remain lifelong patners in the matrimony.

Nagavalli

During Nagavalli, a silk cloth cradle was made and a piece of sandalwood, a ripe mango/banana and turmeric was placed in it to pray for an off spring as healthy as the ripe mango, as pure as the turmeric and as self fragrant as the sandalwood.

This is followed by a fun filled event where the bride and groom fight over who will collect the gold and silver rings dropped in a narrow mouthed vessel.

Sannikallu (Grindstone)

Holding the bride’s left foot toe, the bridegroom then helps her tread on a grindstone called sannikallu kept on the side of the fire. The manthras say: “Mount up this stone. Let thy mind be rock-firm, unperturbed, by the trials and tribulations of life” and when it is finished, the groom adorns the bride’s toes with mettelu, silver rings.

At this time the priest shows the couple the Arundhati star. Arundhati, the wife of vasistha maharshi (the great saint), is exemplified as an ideal wife, the embodiment of chastity. By seeking her blessings, the bride expresses her devotion toward family life.

Pani Grihanam (Vedic)

Literally this means “holding of hands. Because this is the first most important Vedic ritual, scholars believe that this should be done during the auspicious time. Normally the bride folds fingers her right hand fingers into a conical form upwards and the groom holds it in his hand folded downwards by surrounding all her fingers.

The following prayers are recited by the groom:

Hey maid, I am holding your hand so that you will have several good children and live happily with me till ripe old age. Hey Goddess Lakshmi, you are blessed with all the luck, riches and food and so we who have held our hands today, hope to get riches and pleasures by your blessings. I announce this loudly in front of all so that you will definitely bless me. Hey Maid, Let Vayu (god of wind) who has the capacity to travel in all directions, who keeps a gold coin in his hand to give to those who pray him and who is the friend of fire God (Agni) who has the capacity to purify everything as well as the capacity to make raw food eatable, enter your mind and make you love me for every minute of our future lives.

Laja homamlaja Homam is a secondary post-wedding ceremony in which the priest lights a fire to which the newly married couple offer oblations of puffed rice or popped grains (Laja). This shall comprise the bride’s own offering to the sacrificial fire. He gives her a handful of parched rice grains which she hands to bridegroom who on her behalf, feeds it into the fire. Through this food offering, the bride seeks a long life for her husband, and propagation of the family. Participation of the bride’s family members indicates the continuance of links between the two families, even after marriage. The couple circle around the fire, three times, and the feeding of the fire with parched rice, is repeated thrice.

Removal of the Dharbha string tied earlier around the bride’s waist

 

The groom recites the following prayers and then unties the dharbha string he has tied earlier:

i. I free from the rope tied by Lord Parameshwara who ties this rope of Varuna for all the good-minded beings, I give you the position of pleasure with me to you in the world of Brahma.

ii. I free you form the string of Varuna tied by the Lord Parameshwara who gives blessings to his devotees. You can live with me in Brahma loka where the blessed go and be with me without the fear of the rope of Varuna.

 

 

I try to present the Hindu marriage tradition and processes in brief.  I might have omitted certain processes because of certain constraints. In those golden (old) days of our forefathers, the marriages used to perform for 5 days giving detailed importance to each of the process.  Today, we don’t have the resources and time because we have our own confinements, in our brisk lives to perform for so long time.  But there is no reason in making mockery of the traditions.  It is our duty to uphold the sanctity of our traditions.  Let us try to know the importance of every process of marriage tradition.  Demand your priest to narrate the secrets of the tradition while performing the marriage.  It is our duty to know.  Let us not kill our rich traditions.

Dharmo Rakshati, Rakshita ha

 

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Vedic meaning of Marriages..

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Marriage is one among the 16 “samskaras” of the life as viewed by the vedic scriptures. So the elaborate rituals and the procedures that mark the occasion of the marriage if needed to be understood, should be preceded by the understanding of the concept of the life in the Vedic philosophy. The whole process of the life is viewed as the continuous progress form one form of intelligent manifestation to the other form of intelligent manifestation. The whole of the cosmos is viewed as the eternal flow of the consciousness of the ultimate., spiralling in different forms, continuously trying to upgrade it self to the higher and higher levels of the wisdom. Human life is also viewed as the same and thought to be progressing to the intelligent forms from that of the ignorant. ( tamasoma jyothirgamayaha). The purpose of the marriage is viewed as that of aiding the creation of the higher and higher intelligent species in the homo sapiens for achieving the realization of the supreme. This thought was viewed by many westerners and the western educated persons as the stupidity of the Hindus barring the individual freedom of the soul to enjoy free sex and free life. But the recent experiments conducted by the Genetic scientists confirmed that the whole range of the emotions leading to the love like and to the interest of the sex are controlled by a chemical secretion called oxycitine, and the whole objective of this chemical is to continue the process of the progeny. The whole of the individual freedom and other behavior exhibited by the species is in confirmation to the control of the chemical named above for the progeny. This has once again confirmed the wisdom of the ancient Sages who said that the marriage is for the progeny. Now the whole of the span of the human life is divided in Hinduism to achieve all the objectives of the soul to lead a perfect satisfied life to achieve higher levels of the evolution. The life is divided in to different ashrams like Brahmacharya, Grihastya, Vanaprasthya, and Sanyasa, each having a cycle of 21 years. There are different karmas to be performed at each of the ashram and they totalled to 16 karmas. Vivaha is one such karma to be performed at the end of the Brahmacharya ashram. Brahmacharya Ashram includes the Balya Koumara and Youvana avasthas of the Human life. Once the Balya Avastha is over the individual is send to the Gurukula for the education and he will return to the parents after the education at the age of 21 years. Till then he will study the concerned field, along with the moral ethical studies related to physical, psychological, social, religious, and spiritual levels of the upgradation of the soul. After the completion of the studies the teacher will perform the snataka vratha and graduates the student and asks him to join the society for the discharge of the three debts., namely \beginenumerate emDEVA RUNA: The debt of the gods, or the personification of the natural forces. The nature is the gift of the natural forces and the stage where the evolution continues. So the preservation of this nature for the future evolutions and generations is the primary responsibility of the individual and this is the debt that each carry on his head if he is benefiting from the society. emRISHI RUNA: The great sages who understood the whole of the process of the cosmic evolution and the involution prescribed the guide lines and the modes of life for the collective living, by means of the sashthras. It is the following of these principles of living, traditions, customs, which are highly scientific in nature man can allow the peaceful coexistence., the performance of this is the Rishi Runa. emPITRU RUNA: This is the debt of our forefathers. This means that we have to perform the life of the Grihastha Ashram to create the progeny and be supportive for the other life systems on this planet. This also warrants us to be in conformity with the social norms as dictated by the sages for the progress of the society. \endenumerate and the performance of the purusharthas- Dharma Artha Kama and Moksha. It is at this juncture that the Vidyarthi can decide to enter or not to enter in to the marriage life. He can just opt for the Sanyasa ashram skipping the Grihastha and the Vanaprastha. Exactly this is the starting point of the rituals of the marriage. The bride’s father or his brother or the relatives will go and receive the Vidyarthi and bring him to their house. There They will convince him that the life of the Sanyasa is the later part of the life and will keep him satisfied with the elaborate food arrangements and other pleasantries which will keep the mind of the Vidyarthi off the Sanyasa. Then the parents offer their eligible daughter for the pani grahana to pursue him to perform the three debts. The whole of the marriage mantras are to be recited by either groom or by the parents of the bride. It is unfortunate that now a proxy recites the whole of the mantras and we simply nod the head. There are two different recitations in the marriage. One that is the conversation between the Groom and the parents of the bride offering him their daughter and reminding him of the responsibility towards the society, and second the Mantras Proper recited by Groom on the act of Panigrahana, Saptapadi, and Mangalasuthra Dharana. These are the Mantras principally recited for the Gods Agni, Indra, Soma, and Saraswathi. The Vedic concept of the cosmos is based on the evolution of the manifestation by cosmic will called EIGNE, with the aid of the cosmic mind INDIA to achieve the immortal truth and the consciousness called SOMA, with the aid of the continuous upgradation of the consciousness called SARASWATHI. The bride groom recites the passages which mean I …………. to perform the Purushartha of the human life in this form am taking or accepting ……..as my wife. She is already offered to the cosmic mind and cosmic will and to the eternal truth. (meaning this marriage is only to the continuation of the evolution.) I will not tress pass her in the performance of Dharma – all such acts that aid the evolution, Artha-all acts that allows to create utilities of life,( money earning is one such act that creates the utilities of the life, and the artha is not merely money or paper currency) and Kama- all such desires that come across in the life of us.( the Kama in the purview of the Sages is not only sex but the whole range of the desires.) Dharma ca arthe ca kame ca nathi charami. Here the MOKSHA is deliberately omitted by the sages. The reason is the intention of the salvation from the bonds of the life is dependent on the past karma of the soul. Either husband or wife depending on the past karma can achieve the salvation at their own pace. In case of Meera Bai it is the wife who achieved the salvation and in case of Ramanuja or Tukaram it is the Husband who achieved the salvation first. Now lets consider the elaborate process of the marriage according to the Veda, and its scientific significance. Though there may be variations in the sequence of the performance of the different parts and though they are called by different names in the respective colloquials, the Vedic Marriage consists of

01. NANDI- getting started

02. NISCHITARTHA- confirming the alliance

03. ANKURARPANA-creation of the alliance by lighting the yagna fire

04. LAJA HOMA- yagna

05. SNATHAKAM-graduation ceremony

06. UPANAYANAM-thread marriage

07. KASI YATHRA- the indecisive journey of the groom to kasi for the sanyasa and bringing him back to the house by the parents of the bride for the marriage.

08. KANYA DANAM- offering of the daughter for the marriage.

09. PANI GRAHANAM, SAPTHA PADHI, MANGALASUTHRA DHARANA, OR VEEKSHANAM – the seeing of each other, touching of each other, and walking together, and tying the knot of the marriage.

10. TALAMBRALU-other performances- acquaintance of each other.

11. ARUNDHATHI DARSHANAM-showing of the arundhathi star

12. GRIHAPRAVESAM- taking the bride to the in-laws house

13. APPAGINTHALU-handing over the daughter to the groom

14. DHRUVA DARSHANA

15. SOBHANAMU-nuptials

16. GARBHADANAM-the act of creation of the foetus.

Now lets see each of these acts in detail. One important point to be noted is that in the Vedic Age the school going is both for the boy and the girl. And the Upanayana is to be performed for both of them. At the time of the marriage the women starts wearing the ornaments and the man continues to wear the sacred thread. The thread marriage which is confined to only few groups of persons now, used to be in vogue for all at ancient times as the process of Sandhya Vandana is more to do with the Psychological and the Mental Personalities of the Individual. The points like why women wear ornaments and keep bindi are beyond the purview of this discourse. So when both complete the Education comprehensive education for the development of the individual and the society the parents used to find the match by comparing the Horoscopes of the probable matches and used to confirm the alliance based on the Gana Matching. Gana or Group signifies a particular set of mental traits, and for any marriage at least 24 ganas should match i.e., should of the same count for the boy and girl. Of course this science of Astrology too was highly misused and it is now commanding the lowest esteem among the moderners. Among the 16 process discussed above, 1 to 7 are to be performed at different ages and only Kasi Yatra is performed as a prologue to the marriage. But all these are performed just before the marriage due to the changing values in our societies. 8. The actual Kanyadana is the offering of the bride to the groom to perform his Duties towards the society by following the path of the Dharma. 9. From then the Veekshana is the right time for the bride and the groom to see each other. Then the Pani Grahana is the taking the hand of the bride or the process of the first physical contact between the bride and the groom starts. The Sapthapadi or the walking of seven steps around the Agni signifies that we go together in all the seven planes of consciousness in performing the dharma. The seven planes of the Consciousness are signified by the 7 Vyahrithis of the Gayathri Mantra. The Mangala suthra Dharana is the tying of the thread containing the marks of the Vishnu or Shiva in the neck of the bride by the groom. There is a dispute over the point that which is the proof of the performance of the marriage- veekshana, panigrahana,sapthapadi,or mangala suthra dharana or the time of keeping the bindi in the fore head. Various Pundits explain in different ways.But all these practices depending on the regional variations may be performed or may not performed. All form part of the Vedic Marriage Rites so the argument is unnecessary.

10. In many South Indian marriages this act is a must. The rice mixed with the turmeric is poured over the heads of groom and bride by bride and groom. After this there will be certain ceremonies of name calling singing and certain other things and all these are basically aimed at the bringing the bride and the groom nearer in psychological and mental paths.

11. Arundhathi Darshanam is the showing of the Saptha Rishi Mandala and the small star Arundhathi underneath the star of Vashistha.The significance is to remind the pair about their cosmic responsibilities they have to perform in the coming walk of life.These seven sages and their families are the originators of the Vedic Lore of the Hindus. In memoriam of these great sages we named the seven stars in the Great Bear constellation after their names. It is the Darshan of these Great Sages will remind the couple the heritage they have to carry and the Debt of the sages to be performed.

12. Grihapravesam is the taking of the bride and the groom to the house of the groom.

13. Appaginthalu or the handing over of the bride to the parents of the groom by stating that “I have nurtured this child till this age and am handing over to you for the progeny and prosperity of your family. Consider her as your daughter and be the guide and philosopher for her till she lives with you. The Mangala Vaidyalu or the instruments that are blown are to create the serene atmosphere among the people who gathered there. As these are the ragas of the great composers they produce the sonorous and serene effect on the listeners. The Mangala Vaidyalu will be over at this juncture.

15. Sobhanamu is the Nuptials arranged by the parents of the bride in their residence first and in the residence of the groom next. This is the starting of the enjoyment of the joy of the sex as learned in the Gurukula by reading the Kamashasthra and implementing it in a socially acceptable way for the joy and for the bliss and for the progeny of the race.

16. Gharbhadanamu is the act of sex for the progeny. This is set on the day that is neutral from the cosmic influences like the moons gravity and the suns gravity or other disturbances to create the foetus for the Jiva to enter in to the Womb of the mother to take the birth to perform his cycle of karma and to make the parents to fulfil the cycle of the karma. …The dress pattern on all the Vedic Marriages is in conformity with the modern day scientific non infection dressing. …The decoration with mango leaves or the performance of the homa is in a way more advanced systems of the pollution control at a group level. …The wearing of the ornaments at the ceremony of the marriage is in conformity with the Advanced Magnetic Resonance Preventive Medicine of the Present day Medical world. …The details of the food is the medicine prepared to lead the happy sexual life and is based on the Ayur Veda and is practiced in the west too. This is the wisdom as thought by our great teacher Sri Sathya Sai Bhagavathpada and is dedicated to the lotus feet of all Sages who found the Dharma and this science of the marriage.

 

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Honeymoon planning

It’s traditional for the groom to make the arrangements for the honeymoon. It’s also traditional for the groom to pay for the honeymoon, but luckily for you, most couples split the bill these days! It’s worth getting the honeymoon planning sorted out early on. You may be thinking of last minute bargains, but in the run up to the wedding you and your fiancee are going to have a lot of other things on your plate, and having to sort out the honeymoon at short notice will just add to the stress.  You can get good discounts on package holidays and flights by booking early, so there’s no excuses!

 

Decide how long you can take off work

 

A lot of your honeymoon planning will depend on how long you can both take off work.  Even if you think you can manage three weeks off, the chances are your fiancee will want to take at least a few days off immediately before

Honeymoon planning

 

Passports, visas and jabs

 

You should have at least six month’s validity on your passport when you travel – check the dates on your passport and your fiancee’s too.  You can check visa requirements for any country in the world on the Foreign Office’s website.  If you are travelling to a part of the world where you might need jabs, then you will need to visit your doctor at least eight weeks prior to travel.  Fit for Travel can give you an idea of what you might need.

Travel insurance

 

Once your holiday is booked, it’s a good idea to get travel insurance as soon as you can.  Almost all travel insurance policies include some kind of cancellation cover, and you may as well get the benefit of it straight away.  You and your fiancee may already have an annual policy, in which case check the terms to see if your honeymoon will be covered.  If not, take out a single trip policy.

 

Remember that some travel insurance policies can be very cheap, but provide only minimal cover.  Check out the Foreign Office’s advice on what to check for in a travel insurance policy.  One top tip is to pay attention to the single item limit for your possessions if you want cover for that expensive engagement ring!

 

Holiday money

 

The easiest option, unless you are going well off the beaten track, is to take credit or debit cards and some cash as a back up.  However, don’t rely on your everyday UK plastic to provide you with good value abroad.  Most card issuers give you a shocking exchange rate, and if you withdraw cash they’ll charge you for that as well.  However, there are some exceptions, such as the Abbey Zero card.

Honeymoon

Put a cherry on top

 

Honeymoon planning is the number one job that you as a groom are expected to sort out.   It is also the start of your married life.  If you have put the hard work in with travel insurance, visas and various other boring stuff, you may as well go the extra mile to make it really special.  If you would normally drive or take public transport to the airport, book a taxi or executive car instead. The same goes for arriving at your destination – your hotel or resort should be able to arrange for a car to pick you up from the airport.

the wedding, to get properly prepared.  You might want to do the same. Discuss it with her, and work out roughly how long a honeymoon you’re aiming for.

 

Choose the destination

 

Then you just need to decide where to go.  If you and your fiancee have not decided this already, then work out a few options you might enjoy and talk them through with her.  If you’re stuck for inspiration.

Remember too that this is one holiday where dates can’t really be flexible.  So if you’re getting married in May and you fancy a honeymoon in the Seychelles, then you need to make sure that May is a good time to visit.  (It is, by the way.) Your new wife is not going to thank you for taking her to the Maldives in July (unless she loves torrential rain) or the Caribbean in September (unless she likes hurricanes).

 

For ideas on where to visit at different times of year, check out our seasonal honeymoon guides (in the box on the right).

Be realistic about how much you can fit in

 

One of the most important rules of honeymoon planning is to try not to pack too much in!  If you are planning an action-packed itinerary, or a multi-stop honeymoon, try to build in time to relax.  It’s best to work this in to the first few days of the honeymoon, not the end.  Many couples underestimate just how tiring the run up to a wedding can be.  Aim for at least a few days chilling when you arrive, and keep the adventure sports for later.

How soon after the wedding?

 

Once you’ve got an idea of where you want to go then it’s up to you to deal with practicalities.  When fixing the exact dates, try to give yourself at least one clear day between the wedding and the start of your honeymoon.  Couples who depart on honeymoon “the morning after” can end up completely exhausted by the time they arrive at their destination.  They also miss out on the post-wedding buzz back home.  If you can, use the day after your wedding to rest, enjoy yourself, and debrief with friends and family.

 

Booking

 

Package deals can be good value if you’re prepared to haggle.  If you are booking flights and accommodation separately, remember that most airlines release flights for sale eleven months in advance.  This means you can book almost a year before you travel.  Compare flight prices using a site such as Kayak or Skyscanner.

For hotels, use a site like Tripadvisor to check the top-rated hotels and resorts in your chosen destination.  This is really important – do your homework and make sure the place where you are staying is well reviewed by the people who have stayed there.  Don’t risk spending your honeymoon in a poor quality hotel or resort.  Once you’re happy, you can then get the best prices by using a travel broker such as Expedia or Ebookers.

 

Incidentally, don’t be tempted to book the honeymoon in your wife’s married name. You may be keen for her to start

using it, but getting all the arrangements in place in advance for your wife to travel in her new name straight after the wedding is a planning nightmare.  In some cases – such as applying for visas – it’s actually impossible.

For buying foreign currency before you leave, then a top honeymoon planning tip is to order it online.  Usually it can be delivered to your home, which saves you time and hassle when you have more important things to worry about. Also you can easily make back the cost of having it delivered (usually about five pounds) by getting the best online rates.  Remember that “commission free” means nothing on its own – to work out the best deal you need to know both the commission charged and the exchange rate.  Try Money Saving Expert’s Travel Money Maximiser to get the best deal.

Upgrades

 

If you have never tried to blag an upgrade before, then your honeymoon is a good time to try it.  Just don’t plan on getting an upgrade from your airline, as your chances are probably zero.  Upgrades have a value and the airlines know it – there’s a strict pecking order and frequent flyers are at the top.  You might have a bit more luck with your hotel – try emailing them in advance, explaining that’s it’s your honeymoon, and asking very nicely for the best room they have. You might get an upgrade on arrival.

 

Although you probably won’t get an upgrade on your flight, you can still make sure you get decent seats.  Most airlines allow you to check in online and choose your seats around 24 hours in advance of the flight.  Get a mate to do it for you if you think you might be tied up (he or she will need your passport numbers). Use Seatguru to find out which are the best seats on the plane and make sure you nab them.

 

Also, try to arrange a couple of nice surprises for your wife while you are away. Rides in hot air balloons or helicopters are popular honeymoon choices.  Or if you know she likes particular types of flowers, you could ask the hotel to put them in the room for when you arrive.  It doesn’t have to be expensive – you could even take a little gift with you in your luggage.  Just show her you’ve made the effort.

 

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The importent role of wedding planner

In our experience we provide all the planning and the creative design for the events. That means the design team makes the centerpieces and designing the entire event to the customers vision of the event. Our society is very busy and a wedding/event planner will take off the stress of making that special event your dream event. As your event comes closer to the date and the stress of planning becomes overwhelming an wedding/event planner can take over the planning so you can enjoy your big day. A wedding planner can also just help on the day of the event so you can relax and enjoy your moment of your day.

A wedding/event planner is someone who makes life easier for the couple getting married, by making sure that each and every element of the wedding, the decoration, dresses, photography, food or flower arrangements, is co-ordinated and conducted in such a way that the wedding day indeed becomes memorable for all the attendees! A few decades back, it was the friends and family of the couple who took on this responsibility of organizing the wedding for the couple. However, nowadays, as everyone wants a perfect, out of this world dream wedding, people prefer to hire the services of a professional to do the job.

So what are the job duties of an wedding/event planner:

A wedding planner performs a number of duties, before the wedding, on the wedding day and even after that. To start with, when a wedding planner is hired, she meets up with the couple (sometimes close family members may be present) and tries to assess the kind of wedding they are looking forward to. The budget, number of guests, any specific wedding theme they have in mind, some compulsory wedding traditions – all such basics are discussed. Accordingly, the wedding planner starts planning for the wedding.

A wedding planner, not only plans the wedding according to the couple’s wishes, but also makes some of her own suggestions with regards to the theme, décor, food, etc. For this, she usually carries a mini-profile, complete with photographs, of her previous assignments. She shows it to the clients and if they like some things in it, they are included in the wedding as well. Sometimes, couples may entirely let the wedding planner choose the various elements of their wedding. However, mostly, both the wedding planner as well as the couple’s inputs are taken into consideration , when choosing the wedding elements.

So what are the job duties of an wedding/event planner:

A wedding planner performs a number of duties, before the wedding, on the wedding day and even after that. To start with, when a wedding planner is hired, she meets up with the couple (sometimes close family members may be present) and tries to assess the kind of wedding they are looking forward to. The budget, number of guests, any specific wedding theme they have in mind, some compulsory wedding traditions – all such basics are discussed. Accordingly, the wedding planner starts planning for the wedding.

A wedding planner, not only plans the wedding according to the couple’s wishes, but also makes some of her own suggestions with regards to the theme, décor, food, etc. For this, she usually carries a mini-profile, complete with photographs, of her previous assignments. She shows it to the clients and if they like some things in it, they are included in the wedding as well. Sometimes, couples may entirely let the wedding planner choose the various elements of their wedding. However, mostly, both the wedding planner as well as the couple’s inputs are taken into consideration , when choosing the wedding elements.

Here is a list of some of the important wedding planner duties:
Deciding on the wedding venue. Showing the couple various venues, before zeroing in on any one.
Once the theme and wedding colors are decided, the wedding planner starts coordinating vendors such as caterers, photographers, decorators, florists, musicians and car rental providers.
Assist in arranging for lodging of out of town guests is a part of wedding planner job description as well.
Assist sending the invitations and taking into account the number of invitees expected to attend the wedding.
Taking the bride and the groom for dress trials as well as finalizing the dresses to be worn by the bridesmaid, groomsmen, maid of honor as well as the best man.
Some wedding planners may even be asked to make arrangements for the couple’s honeymoon, including travel tickets, hotel stays and sight seeing.
On the wedding day, a wedding planner and team overlooks each and every detail of the wedding and ensures that everything goes on smoothly and as planned.
At the end of the wedding, cleaning up and ensuring that each vendor gets paid, also comes under a wedding planner’s job description.

 

A wedding/event planner is there for support, coordinate and take the stress of your big day whether you are planning a wedding or a special event.

Why wedding planners are impotent

Well, wedding is supposed to be the happiest, ethereal and the most transformational experience of your life as it marks the commencement of a new world, new hopes, new get-up-and-gos and elevated plane of being. Perhaps it’s normal, perhaps it’s weird, but to be very honest this event is something everyone of us dreams of planning, celebrating and living since adolescence.

No doubt, we often relive the vague memories of boring speeches of high school or celebrating our 21st birthday in a crowded restaurant with friends, killing our bucks which were gathered from past few months for the birthday bash! Memories of those days also make you laugh when you came under the influence of your first drink – the holy father of all beverages. But dude, attempting to transmit some slurred philosophical speeches in mad high situation, eagerly awaiting the arrival of latest book of Harry Potter or memorizing the first few dates with your crush where everything appeared potential but nothing sure, can’t ever trespass your wedding day – the day when your life takes the biggest turn.

Indeed, if you believe in “I do” phenomenon rather than “I do…..for now” like Elizabeth Taylor, Lana Turner or Martin Scorsese, then surely your wedding will be counted among ‘once in a lifetime experiences,’ and an experience which holds a paramount importance similar to the character of Ingrid Bergman in “Casablanca.”
So, here’s the deal. You’re all set for the red-letter day with immense anticipations when rings will be shared in fingers. And now when you have realized its significance; you have to prepare yourself for palling arrays of decisions, managing a snowstorm of checklists. And thus you might want to consider about hiring a top-drawer wedding planner, who won’t let anything fall through the cracks. Doesn’t matter your guest list includes 100 or 1000; the elegance and excellence of your wedding will be the greatest landmark of your life, if it is appreciated by the attendants.

Definitely, hiring a professional wedding planner alleviates a lot of stress that usually baffles the couple regarding the wedding venue, coverage, music, managing guests, the designer, the caterer and other backbreaking stuffs. After all, on this memorable occasion, you should not lose the sight of your own ambitions, trying to please your guests.

Remember, it’s your marriage that counts and it should be made a dream-come-true event by a professional who is not only creative and punctilious, but also a person who understands marriage is really made in heaven and every couple is unparalleled on this day.

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The importance of wedding….

Marriages are made in heaven”, but we all want to bring heaven on this earth. Marriage plays a very important role in one’s life. In present times life is so fast moving that nobody has time to spend with his or her relatives, parents, family etc., but being a human being every one wants a second heart to share their pains. When they are alone in their old age they need a partner to share their life with.

Wedding is one’s dream which he or she tries to fulfill at-least once in their lifetime. When a girl attains an understandable age she begins to frame a picture of her wedding day, the surroundings they belongs to, the other wedding parties they attend to, talks with his/her friends are all significant moments which helps frame a dream about his/her wedding day.

Each one of us believes or dreams that when such a day will come we will do something which we will remember all our lifetime; we want to fulfill all our wishes and would rather do extra things than regretting for not fulfilling our wishes. In short we all want it to be a perfect day and everything has to be perfect whether it is our partner or the wedding dress, or the place, everything needs to be perfect.

We all think that we will have such a partner, for whom we will devout ourselves, try to fulfill all his wishes. In the same way we dream that on our wedding day we will be one of the best brides or grooms. One of the most beautiful bride or groom, our wedding takes place at one of the best locations of this world; all the arrangements, decorations, wedding dress, flowers, jewellary etc are one of the best which have never ever been done by others. All the guests heaps praise on the bride and remember the event for their lifetime. It is a long affair and happens mostly once in a lifetime so we all try to make it memorable. Every person is bounded in his or her financial limits and in those financial limits he or she has to fulfill his or her dreams. So we try to get best things in least prices. Wedding is not just a one day affair; it is a cluster of ceremonies and takes two or three days or even more. So it needs lot of planning on this account.

Today in the market wedding planners are also available, who try to provide you with all the services, but they charges you very high. But I personally think, and I feel most of you would agree to it, that we all want that such an important event of our life should have some personal touch. But some of us are not satisfied with this alone and believe in doing each and everything ourselves, organize each and every ceremony by our own hands, but for this we need adequate resource so that we see all the available options at one point and at one time.

 

http://www.ultramatrimony.com